My Life in 2020


Continual boredom

Although we are begiinning to be able to have more ‘freedom’ it’s still tiring being restricted so much in what we can do. My concentration is up and down but it’s worse when I do want to get on with stuff because I have a V.D.H. (very demanding husband).

I have been missing the health club anyway but what makes it worse is that the weather is incredibly hot. I would welcome being able to go swimming just to cool down although I do also want to complete Swim22 for Diabetes UK. Unfortunately it’s still not clear when the health clubs and leisure centres can reopen, hopefully it will be July 2.

The two things that is keeping my spirits up is knowing that we will be able to travel soon to visit family and go on holiday. Whether we combine the two together isn’t a certainty yet.

It’s sad that even though I prefer a quiet life this day I resent not being able to have a break even for a few days. Over the past few years we have enjoyed going to Scotland and other parts of the UK for a week. Our pleasure has been walking the dogs in the countryside while away and looking round other towns and villages.

Lockdown, depression, and coronavirus

Since the coronavirus has hit the UK it’s been a wait for the unknown to happen. People are dying of it now and thousands infected yet there are still very irresponsible people not worrying about being in masses such as parks. It’s also a sad day that the government has forced pubs, clubs, restaurants, etcetera close down.

What is wrong with people?

What part of social distancing to help slow down the virus don’t they understand?

It hasn’t been too bad where we live even with extremely selfish panic buyers making it harder for the rest of us to get food in. I, however, succumbed to a vent in the middle of Tesco earlier due to selfish pet owners stripping the pet aisle. What was left was the more expensive pet food and small packs/single cans. Now I know it can be argued that I chose to have cats and dogs but up until now we haven’t had a problem getting pet food. They help us due to both of us suffering from depression which helps ease the NHS as we don’t need to ask for medical intervention regularly. We just ‘check-in’ when we have a particularly bad time. If the selfish buying continues we will be forced to ask for help which, in turn, adds more pressure on an already overstretched NHS.

I am worried about our families down south even though they have good support networks. It’s times like this we all need to pull together and for estranged families to put their differences to one side.

Happy, depressed and loneliness

Until I moved up to a comprehensive school I remember being happy most of the time. My sister and I were very much typical siblings and I had friends that lived on the same street.

Going to another school was frightening as I went from a small primary and junior school to a comprehensive that had about 2000 students. What made it worse was I was split from my friends which added to me feeling scared. The teachers, who thought they were being helpful, wanted me to sit near the front and on their left-hand sides. I am deaf in my right ear so my mum made the school aware of that. That just made me feel even more uncomfortable so I told the teachers I would move if I had problems hearing them.

I was fortunate that a girl from another school latched onto me who had plenty of confidence, enough for both of us. That friendship was strong for the next five years and helped me get through some difficult times. One of the first ones was to do with a family matter but I couldn’t tell her exactly what it was. Just being there for me was enough to help make life easier.

What I didn’t understand at the time was I started feeling depressed. I couldn’t talk about it to anybody including my family as I didn’t know why I was feeling so low. It just became a pattern in my life that I could be happy then suddenly felt miserable so I tried blaming it on hating school as I really did hate school. I would become moody at times so of course, I would get comments about it at home. I would just freeze up completely which just made it worse for me emotionally.